One day while the kids were eating a snack, the eldest, V, looks at me and asks, “Mama is it a lot of work being a parent?” I stopped eating my mango, and laughed. “Yes, it is a lot of work but it’s the best work ever,” I said to him. He smiled and continued trying to steal my mango from my plate and sharing it with his brothers.

I thought about this question later, and realized two things. One, V is the empathetic child who recognized all that it entails in raising children. In general, he is so bright and so in tune with emotions. That makes me proud in having put in the work to help him recognize that. But then two, did he ask that question because I complain about being a parent?? That made me feel very sad! I mean, yes, it is A LOT of work being a parent, but that shouldn’t make the kids feel bad about being kids! In this stage of life, they should be allowed to push limits, they should be as rowdy as possible, and yes, I will begrudgingly admit that they should be able to make messes! (Don’t tell Dh I said the last one, shh!)

So how do we move forward? I think a happy medium between my two realizations would be a great compromise. Yes, we should ensure our kids are in tune with their emotions, so that they are capable of dealing with the highs and lows that life’s journey has, AND we should ensure our kids see how we deal with these hiccups. In order for our kids to see how to eat or tie their shoelaces or even learn how to wipe their butts after pooping, they watch our every moves (moms, IYKYK regarding bathroom company). So of course our kids will learn how to manifest their emotions by how we do! I pledge to not hide the daily frustrations about cooking, cleaning, managing the amount of diapers we have left and how many we have to order, making doctors appointments, etc, because that is something we all have to share. I want the kids to learn about the work it takes in putting your all for your family’s success, because they should learn to participate in it too. Just as V felt bad for me, after realizing how much hard work it is to be a parent, I want him to understand the importance of a ‘all hands on deck’ mentality for the members in the family.

I also pledge to really try my hardest in taking a pause when I get frustrated with all that goes into making our life work out seamlessly. I admit, I lose my cool because I am human. But I do also need to take a moment, admit my fault, and even apologize to the kids and husband if I go wrong. I am getting better at that, and the kids are so forgiving when you apologize to them. Their hugs are the sweetest after I apologize, and I know they are truly there for me just as I am for them.

So we all empty the dishwasher, we all take out the trash, we all clean up after dinner, just as much as we all participate in our dance parties in the evenings, play Uno on the playroom floor, and take our deep breaths while hugging ourselves at the end of the day (ok, we TRY every day but let’s be honest, chaos gets in the way). This is because life as a parent isn’t the only thing that is hard work, it’s life in general. We have to put in just as much as we want out of our life. If you have a child or not, if you have a darling pet or not, if you have a career or not, life’s journey will always be somewhat of a roller coaster. It’s how we deal with those lows and highs that truly shows us how successful we will be in life. It may not work every day, we all have those lows that we ride out longer than we expect. Give yourself grace and allow yourself to get over a hump in the time you need. You got this ❤