Hello! We’re back. I got on that plane and am so glad we did. We needed a break. I thought about it, in the 7.5 years as parents, we have taken only three weeks off to ourselves. So the trip was very much needed! And I have a lot to say about the trip, mainly what I learned about myself and my husband, so a separate post incoming later-brace yourselves! For today, I wanted to talk about something that I saw in the airport that I genuinely did not expect to be moved by:

A seat belt on a chair attached to the wall in a bathroom stall.

I know. How trivial! Just stay with me for a minute.

While in the Seoul airport on a layover, I ran to the women’s restroom before boading our final flight to our destination for my cousin’s wedding. Inside of the stalls, there were these little child seats that were bolted into the bathroom stall wall, with buckles. A little proper harness for your child while you do what you need to do. And I remember staring at it thinking, “Where was this 7 years ago? Even just 6 months ago?”

I remember vividly six months ago taking two kids with me into a public bathroom stall while traveling. The boys always accompany me into the bathroom at home, asking if I am done pooping and offering me toilet paper while they have full on conversations about the newest episode of Bluey, so it wasn’t a new occurrence. Company in a public stall is a different experience though! The stall barely fit the three of us, and the second I sat down, they were touching everything. I can’t even begin to describe the amount of times I had to say, “Don’t touch that,” in that moment. That toddler chair would have been so clutch! I was impressed by how family friendly that airport and many other international ones are!

There is another public bathroom experience that also comes to mind after seeing this small chair. My first, V, was about four months old. We were at a cousin’s engagement party and V had a blow out poop. Of course! He hadn’t pooped all week and when we got him all dressed up, out on the town, he decided to have an explosion! Not a worry, diaper bag fully packed! Off to the bathroom we go! Perfect, the women’s bathroom is the only one that has the changing station-lucky dad! I took V inside, changed his diaper, got him all cleaned up, and then realized I needed to use the bathroom myself. V was screaming though and wanted to nurse for comfort. I am in the stall, trying to nurse a four month old, use the bathroom, all while wearing a saree of all things! Poor Dh was standing outside, worried as he was hearing all the screaming. I remember he even sent in a customer at the restaurant to check in on me. “Is there a Jasmine in here? Your husband wants to know if you are okay?” I was not entirely okay. This wasn’t the first (or the last) time I had to hold my baby and use the restroom at the same time, but that day was different. I survived it. I see you parents out there who have to do what you gotta do all while still parenting. You are doing great! Sweating in those moments is a struggle, and you have no other choice but to console your baby while still trying to do what you need to. You are not alone.

A buckled seat in a stall would have changed my entire night. Just to secure the baby safely for one minute, really that’s all any of us ever needed.

And it’s not just the stalls. What I noticed throughout our trip was that family bathrooms were much more readily available internationally than they tend to be here. At the airport, restaurants, most public spaces. They existed, they were accessible, and they were actually usable. It was not just a closet sized restroom labeled as “Family” with a changing table squeezed in at an angle over the toilet. Proper family bathrooms.

Alongside with improving parental leaves, childcare options and funding, and overall support for parents in this country, simple changes helping families in public places can feel like a luxury for so many families. Traveling with young kids is hard enough. Let’s do better.

And to my husband, Dh, who was standing outside of that bathroom at my cousin’s party, asking strangers to check on his wife in a saree dealing with his crying baby, I appreciate you and your concern. 🫶🏽