One day H came running to me, crying, screaming something about V. I paused and let him gather himself, and asked him what happened. H said, ‘V told me that this drawing is ugly!’ Poor kid, he had spent over 15 minutes, which is a LONG time for a 4 year old, trying to draw a very interesting rendition of Godzilla. I called over V, and while trying to resolve their dispute, I remembered a saying I saw somewhere-‘Don’t yuck their yum’. I repeated it to the boys and we went over what it meant to them. I explained to them that it was important to always be each other’s cheerleader and to respect each other and their interests and preferences. We use this phrase all the time at home now, and if my 4 and 6 year old can apply it to life, I only wish that we can do the same as adults.

Before school starts, I think this is something that is important to teach to our children. As school begins, we need to remind them that all their peers are perfect in their own way. Every child has their own interests, own way of dressing, own preferences, own feelings. We all have access to different things or don’t have access to certain things. I want my child as well as yours to feel comfortable in their own skin at school. It’s where they have to spend most of their time. We want them to be happy and to feel safe. My kids have told me if a child makes fun of them for the color of their skin, for the amount of hair on their back, for the size of their body. We talk about this all the time. We should be each other’s cheerleader in every sense of the day, where we make others around us feel comfortable and safe. We should remind our kids to accept their peers, to never yuck their yum. As long as they feel safe. Of course, advocate for setting boundaries when your child feels unsafe or respecting the boundaries of their peers if one of their friends feels the same.

Every person here on earth has an individual personality, their own likes and dislikes, their own preferences on how to live life. It can be so hard to not give your own opinion. One thing I have learned in motherhood, is to always be that person to cheer someone else on. And to also cheer yourself on. I will admit that earlier in childhood and my early adult years, I was very confident in myself and not phased by opinions. I lost myself in that time following, and in that time, I lost my confidence in myself and lost the ability to be my own cheerleader

After getting married and having children, I continued to feel like this however only in myself as a mother and wife. I never lost the ability to confidently take care of my patients. But as a mother and family member, that is where I lost my confidence.

After having kids, I felt the need to help other moms to regain their confidence. I cry with the moms in the clinic going over breast feeding, when it is so hard to know if what you’re doing is benefiting your baby. I wanted to check in with the moms around me to make sure they didn’t feel lonely, because it is so hard in the postpartum time. I wanted to block out all the negativity and to remind the moms that no one should ever yuck their yum! You do you, since you know what is best for YOUR family. Being a mom, you are thrust into the throes of childrearing. Don’t ever lose faith in trusting your instincts.

One thing that I do is share a lot of my own experiences. I hope that everyone around me knows that I never mean to take away from those who are in the thick of it. It is simply to remind them that they aren’t alone. I know that may not always be perceived in the right context, so that may be something I should work on.

We are all figuring out life together. We are all walking this journey down together. No one is perfect and no one has figured out parenting, marriage, career or life in general perfectly. Instead, we should cheer each other on as we try to make things more clear and allow ourselves to feel comfortable in sharing our journeys. It’s hard enough having to deal with the daily struggle, so really we need to have that ability to share these struggles so we can get by.

Always be that cheerleader. We are all in the thick of it, all in this journey of life, and everyone’s pathway is different. So let’s all do our best to not yuck anyone’s yum. Let’s all get through life together.